Emma and Thomas

1/29/18 Monday

Life is Good

I am blessed

Good morning Nate,

I read a book last night called Emma Smith: Setting the record straight by Susan Easton Black. It is a small paperback book I checked out at the library. I don’t believe in buying books. Checking free ones out from the library works perfectly for me. SEBlack made sure she expressed no opinions. She just presented questions and then answers from documents. She did present them in a way that seemed to honor Emma. But there were some things that were blatantly, undeniably rebellious.

I want to record some things about her:

-She sang. I had never heard that before. I sing and lead the sacrament meeting music, as well as sing in the choir and this year we practice at 10am, just before church.

-She disliked Brigham Young. They both had issues with each other.

-Many saints went down to the county seat, Carthage, before they left Nauvoo to donate their property to Emma. It cost $1 to transfer the property into her name.

-She had 9 kids. 4 died. Her oldest daughter, Julia was adopted from John Murdock when Emma lost her baby and John lost his wife in childbirth.

-She was steady. She didn’t blow her top. That must have been a wonderful anchor to Joseph.

-She was 5’9” with dark hair just like my wife, Kathyx.

-She was not a writer until after Joseph died in 1844. She remarried in ‘47 and did write Lewis Bidamon when he went to California in the gold rush.

-Bidamon had a child with a girlfriend. Emma accepted that child into her household and always treated Charles kindly. Bidamon had 4 wives in a row, Emma was his 3rd and he had two kids out of wedlock. One when married to his first wife, and another when married to Emma at 17 years.


-Emma denied her whole life that Joseph had anything to do with polygamy. Even in newspaper interviews before her death. Hyrum and Joseph really worked to get her to understand and accept it but she denied it.

-She said she stayed in Nauvoo when all left because at least she had a house. There ended up being the Battle of Nauvoo. She fled 150 miles north to Fulton, Illinois in September of ‘46 hearing the first shots in the background from the battle.

-Bidamon, a land speculator moved into Nauvoo to take advantage of the good prices. He ended up being called “the Major” because of his defense in that battle.

-They were married on Joseph’s birthday by a Methodist circuit rider preacher, Dec 23, 1847. Emma almost lost the Mansion house to crooks. They were loading up the furnishings when she rode back into town in Feb. 1847. Bidamon had written her a letter in January warning her.

-In 1860 Joseph III was made the prophet and president of the RLDS church, or Church of Christ as they became known. 28 years old. Emma sustained and supported him.

-She remained true to JS being a prophet and the Book of Mormon her whole life. She must have been relieved when the persecution finally ended. The evidence of the city of Nauvoo made from swamp land is amazing.

In conclusion, How will it all work out? Will Joseph and Emma be happy and together in the spirit world? I don’t know. I do know Joseph loved Emma to the depths of his soul. I do know we are tested to the limits of our capacity in this life. I believe Emma had every reason in the world to give up on Joseph and the Church. Do you know how many times she feared for his life? Do you know how long and deeply in debt they were? Do you know how many times they had to move and start over? How would you feel if your child died because of a mob? I would be angry beyond forgiveness.

I am profoundly saddened that Emma couldn’t accept the test of polygamy, denied it her whole life, that she did not follow the saints, and she supported her son as the head of a new church in 1860. Was she burdened by emotional or mental illness? I am. There is no way in the world I could serve as an apostle or bishop or high councilman or stake president. There was no way I could have served as a principal or vice principal. I am too damaged. I experience fear and anxiety, depression and nightmares regularly. So I am the last one to judge Emma. I have only survived this far in my life by the grace of God.

How bereft and alone Emma must have felt much of her life and particularly at Joseph’s death. There had been so many vexatious lawsuits. She wrote Joseph to please come back across the river and face the music. He did. He died. Did she blame herself?

Life is hard and then we die.

Tuesday 1/30

I am old. 62 and 5 years retired. I have taken the time to study Joseph Smith and Hugh Nibley and their writings. I have attended an old 45+singles Book of Mormon class on Thursday nights for going on 4 years. I have listened to all the General Conference talks posted on lds.org since ‘72 and marked/highlighted/saved 6k favorite phrases.

As I have pondered and analyzed doubting Thomas I have felt tremendous gratitude to him. He stuck to his guns. If I don’t see, I don’t believe. In the face of the peer pressure from his 10 friend apostles and all those women witnesses he stuck to his guns. Have you ever heard anyone celebrate him for that? Well I do. Because of him we discover that HF loves and accepts even the doubters. And because of him we know he got to feel the prints in his hands and thrust his hand into his pierced side. Thank you Thomas!

Last night I realized that Emma does us the same service. She did not believe in polygamy. She disliked Brigham Young. She pushed her son into being the president of the Church of Christ 16 years after Joseph’s martyrdom. She remarried a non member. She owned half the property in Nauvoo. She never joined the saints in SLC. But she was true to her testimony of Joseph Smith and the divine Book of Mormon. Thank you Emma!