onward and upward

This has been a very busy time for me! I rarely have free time to get anything done. When I do have any, it is consumed with reading the scriptures. I don't own a television, nor do I want one. I've started a small study group to read the scriptures Monday Wednesday and Friday mornings. It has very poor attendance. For people who profess to be good Mormons you would think they would be more enthusiastic about this. Oh well, they are students as well and must have so much going on they can't take thirty minutes out of their mornings to come. It's okay I set the example and eventually they'll come. I wouldn't stress too much about the trash talkers in your ward. I get people who talk about me in this branch. Just have to let it go and not feed into the damage that causes. Only will backfire on them in the end. I'm going full-time at work this coming week so my schedule will be even more crammed. Idle hands are the devil's workshop but it would be nice t...

Good Monday afternoon Nate, No comments from you this last week. Did you read my comments yet? If you want you can make comments on my comments. You get to see your bishop regularly. You may also have seen your counselor this last week. I saw my first psychotherapist after my parents were discovered and exed in ‘89. My wife was worried that if I had been abused and didn’t remember, maybe I was secretly abusing the kids. My insurance allowed 20 visits so I went to who ever she lined up. Wes Craig. I got nothing out of it. Later I saw Bob Tripp from church social services a couple of times. I’m not sure why. I was probably reeling from my parents having been excommunicated. The legal investigation was not gentle either and I was trying to keep my wits about me and teach school everyday? I liked him from the start. He felt whole and good to me. I was fascinated that things could have happened to me that I didn’t even know about, that I couldn’t even remember. I didn’t make any progress ...

I don't believe in coincidences either, only events that coincide with other events, fulfilling God's perfect plan. I have trust issues as well but it brings me comfort to view"bad" things that happen in this light. Yesterday went well. Choir practice was cancelled so church started at 11. We have this thing called linger longer once a month where the wives of the counselors and president make the main course (spaghetti yesterday) and people bring the side dishes. I made a no bake cake, because the batter for cookies was too runny; I didn't have enough oat meal. It was delicious. Then I stayed for a missionary meeting about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Very edifying. The president was in Provo this Sunday but I met with him on Wednesday. This Wednesday I will too and then Sundays. I start individual counseling on the 22nd. 185$ first session so say a prayer I can afford my rent next month, that is basically my whole paycheck for the week and$200 weekly goes to re...

Monday 2/12/18 Hey Nate, How did the sacrament go yesterday? Did you have an appointment with the bishop? What are you listening too in the way of General Conference? What are you studying in the way of scriptures? I will use the first letter of each of those questions to answer them myself. H- I sit in the middle of the top row of choir seats to conduct the music. The deacon passes me the sacrament over the bench in front of me when he is done with the bishop and high councilman. Our deacons blew it yesterday. They forgot the northwest corner of the congregation for the bread. Poor guys, they are so young and some are so dumb/ oblivious. I am trying to remember where my mind was during the sacrament. Have you ever noticed that Heavenly Father is addressed twice in each prayer and the Jesus Christ is addressed twice in each prayer? I copied the sacrament prayers from Moroni last week and noticed that.  D- No, but I interacted with him a few times. He supports the choi...

very early Sunday morning, 1:20am 2/11/18 Good Morning Nate, G tells me you studied the scriptures together each morning for a couple of weeks. I am impressed. I am in awe. Have you ever been incapacitated by anxiety? My last two afternoons were like that. Thursday afternoon I was anticipating teaching our singles BoM class and Friday afternoon I was anticipating a date to our Ward Valentine's dinner. My life has gotten so peaceful the last 5 years since retiring that I have gotten out of the mode of handling daily stress.  I was so anxious I wanted to cancel. My brother Scott'77 had kept tabs on me and expressed consolation that at least I had doubled my paxil starting Monday. He is right. Just imagine what a basket case I would be had I not gotten fed up with being scared and depressed and decided to do something more about it. It was a very long month of January for my psyche. I listened to the sustaining session of conference twice in the last day. RMN i...

Hey Vern, I didn't watch the Superbowl and If you look on my fb timeline you will see why. It is rigged. A way to keep the masses complacent and in the dark while evil continues to rule the world. The Simpsons are "illuminati" or ran by the organized elite of the upper echelons of Satan's servants. The score was predicted exactly years ago along with 9/11, Trump and his assassination. He is the fall guy for the new world order. The excuse for why America should be dissolved and accept the prophesied one world government. It will happen soon. Yesterday was fast and testimony meeting but it was the first time I could worthily take the Sacrament . Next week I can prepare it! I was the first one up there. But I fast every Sunday. I figure if I can get more blessings why not? It is hard tho and won't put on weight as quickly as I would like but I get blessed. Last week I fasted for a friend to get back in the church. Two days later i texted her and she went! Amazing....

But Hal, Jesus didn't go whoring! Those words did actually come out of my mouth in HPG today. My feelings are way too fluid, mercurial, up and down, volatile this month. He/Hal is planning on watching the super bowl with his kids and friends today. I teased him to start with and said he would need to start and end with prayer. He mentioned Kate Upton may be in a commercial. CharlieM asked who's playing and who is that? At first I was embarrassed about what I had said. ReedP was good about trying to refocus us to help out JimC who was substituting today. JimC was terrible. I don't know how he ever made a living as a HS teacher and I can see why he went to the testing center eventually. We are all just trying and doing our best. I did stay quiet through SS. TamiS noticed and encouraged me for future classes. I declared I would be there if ever needed. But the nice round half circle arrangement made it much more social and there were plenty of answers. So would J...

Saturday 2/3/18 Looks like you have been busy with life! Hello Nate, God bless you. I fight anxiety, unreasonable fear at times. I was nearly overwhelmed with it Thursday evening at 6 pm when I was supposed to go to Family Search and see about an Uruguay passenger list issue I discovered and documented 3 Thursdays ago. I felt it again this morning as I started indexing. My worst red button, my worst trigger is the “in trouble” button/ trigger. What? How can a 62 year old retired Jr. High Science teacher think he is in trouble all the time? Doesn't make sense does it? The good news: I have courage. I face my fears. And I need adrenaline rushes and facing those fears gives me an adrenaline rush! I watched a couple of indexing/ reviewing videos. They taught me about two buttons I seldom use: the entries button and the forward images button. Believe it or not I was feeling anxious because I was using those new buttons this morning and not doing it the old way! So strange....

I had another experience in a very important area in the Church. Unfortunately, two Church leaders had become embroiled in a feud and neither would yield. I had held a stake conference all day and had gone without my supper and had traveled over a range of mountains to meet these unhappy people. Hour after hour we served, and begged, and endeavored to convince them to change their minds and get them together, all to no avail. Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve o’clock, one, and two o’clock and the night was going fast, and I was very, very weary. I flipped open my Doctrine and Covenants again. Automatically it turned to page 105 and I read it to them. They almost gasped for wonder, and this is what we read: “Nevertheless, he has sinned; but verily I say unto you, I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness, who have not sinned unto death. “My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another...