Anxiety

Saturday 2/3/18 Looks like you have been busy with life! Hello Nate, God bless you.
I fight anxiety, unreasonable fear at times. I was nearly overwhelmed with it Thursday evening at 6 pm when I was supposed to go to Family Search and see about an Uruguay passenger list issue I discovered and documented 3 Thursdays ago.
I felt it again this morning as I started indexing. My worst red button, my worst trigger is the “in trouble” button/ trigger. What? How can a 62 year old retired Jr. High Science teacher think he is in trouble all the time? Doesn't make sense does it?
The good news: I have courage. I face my fears. And I need adrenaline rushes and facing those fears gives me an adrenaline rush!
I watched a couple of indexing/ reviewing videos. They taught me about two buttons I seldom use: the entries button and the forward images button. Believe it or not I was feeling anxious because I was using those new buttons this morning and not doing it the old way!
So strange.
Next, I have a brother who is a savant painter. He can focus like none other! But he is currently driving truck and drinking each night to medicate and fall asleep. His name is Adrian. Last night and tonight he got on our Fantastic 5 text circle and moaned and whined and pontificated. Vern, Adrian, Camille, Gayelinn, Scott are what I call us Fantastic 5 siblings. 2 others are hermits.
Next, Lois Mcmaster Bujold is tied for first place as my favorite author. I checked out the CD's for her first book in a new series called the 5 Gods: Pendric's Demon. It was delightful. Seldom do I listen to books. I prefer reading. Today I started another listening book in the series called: Pendric's Shaman.
Next, My frogs are chirping. It has been warm enough that my Pacific Coast Tree Frogs who invaded my 12 yard ponds 4 years ago think it is spring time and are chirping away. They are on again, off again singers. Sometimes I will hear one in December and January, all depending on the weather. My neighbors love them and think they are a hoot!
Next, I faced two con artists, fraud schemes and almost got trapped this week. One was with my home mortgage insurance and one was with my car registration renewal. I get so angry when I almost get sucked in and taken advantage of!!!
Gayelinn shared a picture of the two neighbor's horses coming to join her at noon as she sings to her cow and animals out in the sunshine at her corral. She fights depression by singing and sunning. What a struggle it can be.
So tomorrow is fast Sunday. Sometimes I don't fast. Sometimes I feel like fasting as my spirit is lifted during fast and testimony meeting. Then I just go until Monday morning fasting. It doesn't take as much will power that way. I still pay my fast offering whether I fast or not. Til next time,
V


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